Turning 50 seems to have stirred so much more in me than any other milestone birthday before it has. Maybe that's because it's the first milestone that actually had me feeling (and seeing) the physical changes that my body is going through as I age. While I am sure that they have been happening for a lot longer, it seems like I suddenly woke up in my 50th year and had them.
It is now two years past the big event and I am still grappling with these changes and with the fact that inside, I still think I am somewhere between 25 and 35. I keep waiting for the wisdom or maturity that everyone tells me comes from aging.
So, while one of the biggest things I am grappling with is whether or not I should even write anymore, can write anymore, ironically, writing about my life, journaling (or in this case, blogging) is what I do to help myself deal with things. I also thought by sharing this phase of my life that it would help me feel less alone, knowing that others might also be going through some of the same things as I am. And, it might help them feel less alone too. So my hope is that you will share here so we can all benefit from your experiences.
As promised, for my first "official" post, I will blog about one physical change that I have had control over, and that is my diet and how and what I did since many of you have asked. I just wanted to post an intro. to the new blog so you'd know where to find me. So, please be patient with me, I do have actual work to do that pays me!
While I might end up bitching a lot about aging, I do know that I am fortunate that I am aging, and I thought this quote is a good reminder of that fact.
I was able to keep up with some of your turning 50 posts and I kept waiting for some sort of turmoil to brew in myself (I'm now 51) and it didn't. I started celebrating my birthday by myself about 10 years ago and I think that makes a difference. I think we pick up a lot of "how we feel" from what others tell us we should feel. By avoiding all "over the hill" celebrations I think I was able to just plug right along. On my 51st birthday I was sitting on my back porch, watching butterflies migrate on an absolutely gorgeous day, and realized I couldn't be happier than I was at that moment. I stopped looking back and analyzing my life years ago and now try to stay present in the current moment. I also stopped trying to "fix" myself as well. For me my fifties are about just being and I love it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Kat. You are very smart and living in the moment is something I am always working at getting. As is evident from my 50 blog and this one, I am overly analytical, it's what I am. I used to try to fight it, I don't anymore. So, for me, being in the moment is very hard. Thanks for the reminder :)!
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